His Realisation
by McGemcity
Summary: Tim McGee knows what he wants (after a brief period of obliviousness), but can never have it... at least that's what he thinks. Unfortunately things have to get a whole lot worse before he comes to his second realisation. McNozzo. Please read the warnings at the start of chapter 1.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the rewritten version of this story. Sorry it took so long and hope you enjoy it!**

**Quick Notes: I see this taking place after Ziva has worked with the team maybe 1-2 years? Enough time for them to build up a lot of trust and friendship basically and there's really no definite timeline. Due to the lack of a real timeline I've left out some major plot points in the show (for now at least, I may find a way to address them later), such as Gibbs leaving and the whole Jeanne assignment.**

**WARNING: PLEASE READ: this contains a description of a sexual assault, it is not very graphic but involves some violence and unwanted kissing and touching. If you don't think that is something you will feel comfortable reading please don't. The rest of this story will focus on the aftermath of this chapter and therefore will reference these events and may include flashbacks to them.**

* * *

It's one of those things that happens so slowly, he doesn't even notice.

It starts off with him being more aware of the other man and his actions.

* * *

"_Where's DiNozzo?"_

"_Break room for Coffee." He replies automatically, at the same time as Ziva answers "He did not say."_

_He glances up to find her and Gibbs both looking at him,_

"_Not sure." He corrects himself, at the same moment as Tony wanders back into the room, steaming mug in hand._

"_This break room stuff is getting better." He informs them as he sits down, taking a sip._

* * *

_He watches Tony rummaging through his pack muttering under his breath. Rolling his eyes he pulls something out of his own bag and waits. As soon as Tony stops searching and turns to him he throws him the batteries,_

"_Here. Charge your camera next time." He warns._

"_McGee, you're a lifesaver." Tony informs him as he slips the rechargeable pack out of the camera and places the batteries in. He frowns up at McGee a second later,_

"_How did you..."_

"_You were muttering under your breath Tony, wasn't hard to figure out what you were about to ask." He interrupts, as if it was nothing._

_He doesn't mention the fact that he'd slipped the batteries into his pack after the last case, knowing that Tony's battery was dying towards the end of the last scene they shot by how he frowned at the slowness of the camera between pictures._

_He's an investigator, he's just noticed the little things. And Tony's his partner, he _**knows **_him._

* * *

There are more moments just like that, so many he loses count. He doesn't think anything of them. Until the dreams start.

And then he panics.

* * *

Thinking it through he realises what he's been missing for a while, and it scares him. Because this... this could go so badly wrong.

At first he ignores it, pushes it out of his head. But it won't go away, and he keeps noticing those little things, finds himself hyperaware of where Tony is.

Feels a curl of warmth in his stomach at something Tony does or says.

And the dreams keep happening. They aren't anything...explicit. They're just...nice. Him and Tony out on a date, Tony taking his face in his hands and gently leaning in, covering his lips with his own...Him and Tony in a _**relationship.**_

And when Tony grins at him for getting his food order perfect without prompting, or thanks him for getting the coffee right as he'd run out... he feels that pool of warmth in his stomach and finds himself smiling back. Until he realises what was running through his head and the warmth turns into nauseating dread.

Because he's started to..._**like Tony**_. A lot.

_Too much._

And that terrifies him.

* * *

The silence was becoming suffocating. He knew it could only have been a few moments since the words had left his mouth but it felt like an eternity. Because she hadn't said _**anything**_. Just stood there, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

He'd wanted to take it back the moment he said it. Wished he could go back to doing what he had been since this...complication, had entered his life. But coming here, and talking to her, had been the product of a lot of thought. He'd been stressing out too much dealing with this on his own; he'd needed a sounding board, someone to talk to about what was happening. And, realistically, she had been the only option.

Finally, finally she starts to react, mouth turning up into a wide grin and giving a slight jump as she moves forward to give him a punch on the arm,

"Are you serious?!" it's almost squealed and he winces as he rubs his arm and frowns at her,

"Yeah Abby, I'm serious, I told you..."

She waves a hand, "Yeah Timmy, you told me you were bi ages ago, and I told you I think it's awesome; a load of the nicest people are gay and bi, although some of them are nasty... or murderers...not that all gay people are murderers, I mean look at you, and loads of murderers aren't gay..."

He wanted to give a fond grin, and laugh at the tangent she was going off at, but he only had a short window to talk to her while the others were out of the building. He needed her to stay on topic and help her with his problem,

"Abby!"

"Sorry McGee" she gave him an apologetic look before her enthusiasm was back full force, "but come on, _**Tony**_! The two of you would be so cute together! I can't believe you have a crush on Tony! Why wouldn't you tell me about this before? How long has this been going on?" She suddenly demanded, frowning before pointing an accusing finger at him,

"Have you been keeping secrets from me McGee?!"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair,

"Not long Abby..." He held up his hands in a surrender position as the glare intensified and one eyebrow raised. "I swear." He promised, "But Abby I need your help..."

"To get together!" She interrupted him, grin suddenly back in full force "I have sooo many ways we could do this! ... Please tell me your recent fitness phase has given you some muscle tone under those shapeless clothes, that would make things even easier, and be really, _really hot_! I mean you were attractive before McGee, but add some nice definition in there and _**wow**_!"

She was almost dancing around the lab by this point, but he couldn't share in her enthusiasm, the now ever present dread in the pit of his stomach bubbling and churning as she talked. Stepping towards her he gripped her arms gently, stopping her mid twirl.

"Abby..." He trailed off with a deep sigh, "That's not what I need."

She frowned in confusion,

"Of course it is McGee!" She insists, "I want you to be happy, and you like Tony, and you are two of my best friends and it would be..."

"A disaster." Tim assured her, "Trust me Abbs, alright? It wouldn't... I don't need your help dating him."

She nods slowly, and he lets go of her arms and takes a step away,

"Then what do you need?" She questions, looking at him with concern now,

"Help? Advice?" He runs a hand over his head, "I don't know what to do Abby!" He turns and starts pacing, "I mean I thought I could deal with it on my own but nothing works, I still like him and I can't Abby, I _**can't.**_"

"Why not?!" He turns to face her, startled. She's stood, head tilted to the side and watching him curiously, hands on her hips, lab coat open and pushed back by her hands. "Why is this such a bad thing McGee?"

He huffs out a disbelieving laugh and shakes his head,

"How can it be a _**good**_ thing?!" He counters, "I just... I need it to go away, I need to get over it." He looks her in the eyes and realises she's shocked at his choice, "That's what I need advice on Abbs, how do I... make it stop?" He pleads.

"Why does it have to?" She demands, stepping closer to him. He opens his mouth to answer as she continues, "It's not because of Gibbs because you already dated me, it's obviously not because he's a guy, and it's not like you've never had a crush on him before..."

She grins at him when he freezes and stares at her for a moment,

"I...I never..."

She steps forward and pats him on the face gently, "Aww McGee, of course you did. It was tiny but it was there, and who can blame you? It's Tony, and he was teaching you and being all Senior Special Agenty, of _**course **_you had a crush on him."

She nods with a grin and then frowns,

"So what's the big deal this time?"

"It's...different now." He insists, and then glares at her when she claps her hands,

"I knew you had a crush on him back then!"

She sobers and does her best serious look, "I mean, continue McGee."

He sighs, "We're friends now Abby. It's not like I'm just hanging round the team, or just joining anymore! I need... I need to just stop feeling this way about him... I can't act on it... ever... I can't ruin what we have Abbs... I just _**can't**_... so I need it to go away before I decide I should and ruin everything."

"Why does it have to ruin things McGee?!" She demands, getting close to him again to look in his eyes, "Why can't you guys just...try?"

He laughs, and it sounds hollow and disbelieving even to his own ears,

"It's _**Tony, **_Abbs. Have you ever heard him talk about anything other than women?!" He snorts, and shakes his head, "He'd probably punch me if he ever knew I'd ever..."

He trails off as Abby glares at him and punches him on the arm,

"You know him better than that McGee." She cautions, shaking her finger, "Tony wouldn't do that."

He sighs again and nods, "Alright, so maybe he wouldn't hit me. Maybe he wouldn't mind, but Abbs... I'm almost certain he doesn't swing that way, and even if he did... well there's no way he'd go for me really is there?"

"Why not?!" Her tone is sharp and she steps back from him to cross her arms, "What's wrong with you McGee? I bet we could make him like you, look at you! And you're all smart and competent and..."

"Abby..." he warns, while she shakes her head.

"Don't Abby me!" Her arms are still firmly crossed over her chest while she makes her case "I dated you remember McGee? I'm speaking from experience here. You are great to date! Anyone would be lucky to have you. And Tony already loves hanging out with you! We just need to change it from friendly and brotherly to dates is all! It wouldn't be that big of a leap, loads of people compare you guys to a married couple, I mean Ziva's said so twice at least!"

He sighs once more and shakes his head, "He laughs every time that happens Abbs. He thinks the idea of us being like that is hilarious...It just... It's not going to happen Abbs alright? I've accepted that, I just need... need to stop feeling like I _**want**_ it to."

She studies him for a moment more before nodding slowly,

"Ok. Ok Timmy, we can deal with this." He sighs in relief and offers her a slight smile.

"Thanks."

"Oh I still think you should go for it." She informs him, before stepping closer to wrap him in a hug, "But if you don't want to then I'll still help you."

He pulls her in close, and not for the first time wishes things could have worked out between them. His life would have been so much simpler. Instead, they'd found that their relationship translated easily, effortlessly, into friendship, and that both of them were happy with that. That they loved each other, but weren't really _**in love**_ with each other. She's one of his best friends, and the idea of dating her any more seemed... strange, alien. Besides, they had both wanted different things. He doesn't love her like that, but some days, he really wishes he could.

"I know what you're thinking McGee." She mumbles against his chest, "But when has life ever been easy?"

He huffs a small laugh and hugs her tighter,

"I guess that's true."

"Trust me, if we had been right for each other I would never have let you go." She assures him, "Which is why I think you're being unfair not giving Tony his chance."

"There's no point Abby...he wouldn't want it."

* * *

He sighed as he remembered that conversation. Abby had made it clear she didn't think giving up was the right path, but what other choice was there? Yes he and Tony were close, but in a friendly, brotherly kind of way, it wasn't romantic, and there was no way Tony had ever thought of him like that. He valued the closeness he and Tony had built up over time, and he wasn't losing that to this, no matter how much he wanted it. The simplest solution was to never tell Tony how he felt, and just wait until he got over it. That way Tony would never have to know, and his life wouldn't have to crumble around him.

All because he went and got a stupid crush on his partner.

Abby had decided his best bet was to go out on a date, following the reasoning that maybe he was into Tony because he just hadn't dated guys in a while. While he agreed it was worth a try, he then had the problem of actually _**getting **_a date. He didn't really have time to find someone to go out with; the only new people he generally met were on cases, and with DADT that was a definite no go for most of those.

And so Abby had volunteered to set him up on a blind date. He had been apprehensive about it since she told him she had found someone, nervous that it would be a complete and utter disaster.

* * *

So far that fear seemed to have been well founded. The date _**was**_ a disaster. The guy wasn't really that interesting, and the conversation had been awkward at best. So far nothing they had talked about had really seemed to set of any kind of spark or any lasting conversation, and there had been quite a few awkward silences. The man was good looking, there was no denying that, and he had noticed that he was completely different in appearance from Tony. This guy was taller, more muscular and well built, with relatively long sandy blonde hair that hung over his deep blue eyes. He was the kind of guy he could imagine girls fawning over, and they had, the waitress was practically drooling. But he just wasn't...right.

And then there was the other issue he'd been having. He couldn't shut down the increasing churning in his stomach and the warning light in the back of his head telling him that something was off. Even though the other man had made efforts to talk, they had been half hearted at best. Unlike most of Tim's dates it had been easy to avoid mentioning specifically what he did for a living, something he liked to keep private until he knew how lasting a relationship was going to be. At first he had passed it off as awkwardness at the beginning of a date, the guy not wanting to pry and seem to be intruding. Then... the touching had started. He had wrapped his arm round Tim's back as he guided him into the restaurant, made sure their hands brushed at every opportunity. He had even been resting his hand on Tim's thigh as they were eating, brushing it up and down until Tim had tried to subtly move away. There had been a flash of... something ... in his eyes and then it was gone... Tim's uneasy feeling wasn't.

It would have been fine if Abby had been able to set him up with someone she knew personally. But, as it turned out, all of Abby's gay friends had been in relationships, or not looking to date right now. Daniel was actually the friend of a friend or something like that, and that meant the uneasy feeling grew as the night went on. If Abby had picked the guy, he would have trusted her judgement, and just accepted the fact that there was no spark, but as she hadn't...

His gut kept churning, and if there was anything he had learnt from Gibbs it was that sometimes all you could do was follow your instincts. He would feel bad but the ...'Hands on' approach the other man had was making him slightly uncomfortable. So, in the next awkward silence he crossed his arms over and leaned forward as if he was interested in getting closer,

"So, how was your meal?"

While he talked he subtly slipped one hand inside his jacket and pressed a button on his phone.

"It was fine." Daniel replied shortly, "Did you want to get anything else?"

"I..." He stopped and gave an apologetic smile as his phone started ringing. Pulling it out he frowned at the screen before offering another small smile,

"Sorry, I have to take this, work."

He barely waited for the nod of acknowledgement before pushing the button to silence the fake call tone and brining the phone to his ear,

"Tim McGee...Yeah...I understand... Well I'm busy can't it..." He paused and frowned as if he was concerned by what he was hearing, glancing at Daniel with a small smile, he couldn't quite interpret the look on the other man's face, and that unnerved him even further.

"No, no that's fine...Ok... No I understand, I'll be there soon."

He looked back at Daniel, trying his best to look apologetic,

"Sorry Daniel, but something's come up and I really have to go..." He moved to stand, but Daniel reached out and grabbed his wrist, causing him to freeze and look directly at the other man. He offered Tim a smile but it looked false. It could just be disappointment, but his gut churned again.

"That's alright. I'll walk you out." He thought about refusing, but didn't want to seem rude, after all he had no evidence anything was wrong. He nodded, and Daniel grinned at him before dropping his wrist. He swiftly turned to continue leaving, striding up to the counter and slipping cash out to pay for their meal.

As they stepped out into the cool night air of the dimly lit streets, he started to regret his restaurant choice. He had chosen a small out of the way place, wanting the privacy it afforded. He wasn't ashamed of his preferences, but after growing up in a military family and on navy bases, he knew how bad reactions could be. He had therefore been cautious since starting at NCIS, as, although they were a civilian agency, exempt from Don't ask, Don't Tell, working as a cop on the navy yard was still not the ideal situation to openly flaunt his sexuality. He knew his team would most likely stand by him if the truth ever came out, but as he had stuck to dating women over the last few years, he didn't think that making them have to deal with the prejudice of others was worth making his choices known.

Now, however, the need for privacy was working against him. The small size of the parking lot by the restaurant meant that he had been forced to park a few streets away, leaving him with a walk back to the car along dark, almost empty streets, with a man that was, quite frankly, starting to give him the creeps. He had thought he might lose him once they left the building, but Daniel made no indication he was planning on saying goodbye, and continued to keep pace with Tim as he walked towards his car.

The walk was conspicuously quiet, and he felt the churning in his gut ramp up with every step. The only reassurance he had was the knowledge that he was far from defenceless should the apprehension lead to something. He was a federal agent, and more importantly, one that worked on Gibbs' team. He had his service weapon strapped to his ankle, his badge hidden in his jacket pocket, and a knife concealed in the back of his belt. He was prepared, whether the danger he was dreading came from some unseen factor or the man next to him. For a split second he felt bad for thinking that way... right up until Daniel grabbed his arm with a bruising force and used it to swing him into an alley.

His training kicked in instantly, hours of work in the training room meaning that the reaction was ingrained. He was immediately on the defensive, twisting the captured arm violently to escape and bringing the other round in a solid punch to Daniel's solar plexus. The man staggered backwards as the air left his lungs, and Tim started to reach for the gun at his ankle. As he was bending over the shadows on the floor caught his attention, their movement giving away the man sneaking up silently from behind. It was a split second decision, and instead of finishing his reach for the weapon he moved to defend his back.

He twisted to face the newcomer but it was already too late. He found himself in a vice like grip, being shoved up against the cold solid stone of the alley wall, his head slamming into it with the force of the other man pushing against him. He winced at the impact, pain exploding behind his eyes and lancing through his head, causing him to gasp and groan. His vision swam, and he stopped fighting for a second as his brain momentarily shut down.

He was brought sharply back into reality by a laugh coming from right next to his face. He opened his eyes, and saw the silhouette of his attacker, the details obscured by the darkness as his head blocked the street light. He could feel that he was pinned in place by the weight of the other man and an arm pressing against his throat. The man leaned closer, his breath flowing over Tim's face and assaulting him with the stale odour. He cringed, turning his head away while flexing against the grip his captor had, testing its strength. There was no give and his attacker laughed again, before leaning back slightly.

"Now, now, don't be like that."

He frowned, trying to figure out what they could want, a million possibilities swirling through his head. Daniel's lack of curiosity about his job could mean he already knew where he worked. Did they want information? A hostage? Did they...

"We just want to have some fun... right Dan?"

He froze and his blood ran cold at the implications and the blatant leer in the voice. _**No.**_ He turned his head to look at his "date." Daniel was currently prowling towards them, clearly winded and angry at Tim's retaliation. He swallowed, but tried not to other wise outwardly show his fear. He knew now what they were planning to do... and there was no way he was going to sit back and let it happen. He was going to fight... and fight hard.

He tried to focus his mind and concentrate on recalling his training, analysing the location of his weapons, before figuring out what would be needed to get to them. He kept waiting for an opening; flinching and closing his eyes as another touch was added to the one keeping him secure. The hand trailed up the side of his face, and then back down to his collar bone, in a disconcerting parody of gentleness that had bile rising in his throat.

He knew it would be no good to call out; the streets were too quiet, businesses having mostly closed for the night. Even if he had been somewhere else, there was no way he was going to drag an innocent passerby into this. He opened his eyes, determined to help himself, and looked around the alley they were in. He deliberately avoided looking at the man holding him, and tried to ignore how Daniel was still trailing his hands over him. He couldn't see anything useful... other than a small security camera pointing almost directly at them.

The sight gave him an added conviction that he would get out of this. Whatever happened from this point onwards, Gibbs and the others would investigate, would watch that video and see. There was no way they wouldn't, and it was up to him to determine what they would find. He could imagine the guilt they would feel if he couldn't get out of this, because they would find a way to blame themselves. They would wonder if their training had been enough, if they could have taught him more or different techniques. And Abby... she would feel responsible for setting him up with the guy in the first place.

So when they watched that video, he had to make sure they would see him fighting his way out with everything he had.

He kept searching for the opening to put this plan into action, but there was none. All he could do was tremble and shudder in disgust as Daniel's hands started exploring his chest. He jerked against the grip on him as the touches became more insistent. His captor's response was a quick punch to his jaw, knocking his head back into the wall once more. He grunted and then gasped as the fist quickly returned and buried itself near his ribcage. He was still trying to get air back into his lungs when another blow landed in the same spot. This time he felt something crack and a sharp pain shot through him.

The unknown attacker pushed his body further against Tim's, pressing him back fully into the wall. Their chests were touching, and his groin pressed against McGee's. Tim attempted to shift his body... anything to get away, but the man held on tight. Tim decided to try and reason with them, all the while concentrating on not missing an opening when it came, and resisting the urge to screw his eyes shut to escape.

"You don't need to do this... Please... just let me go... You don't want to..." His speech was halted by Daniel pausing in his exploration and punching him in the jaw again. His head met with the brickwork for the third time and he felt blood begin trickling at an alarming rate over his scalp while his vision swam.

"Just shut the hell up." Daniel growled, his hands replacing his friend's in restraining Tim. He was still blinking the world back into some focus when he felt Daniel lifting his arms up above his head, pinning his wrists against the wall, the stone biting and stinging where it scraped the skin. The next moment his body was pressed all along Tim's as he began dipping his head to lick and bite against Tim's neck. His trembling increased and he jerked his head sideways, his muscles becoming taut and strained as he tried to move as far as possible within the hold imprisoning him. He clenched his jaw in an attempt to force himself to focus on escape, rather than what was being done to him.

He began to panic as he felt one of Daniel's hands remove itself from his wrists, and stroke down his body again... and the panic only increased as the hand didn't stop at his chest, but rather continued on its journey, moving further down towards the waistline of his pants. He jerked and whimpered closing his eyes as the hand reached its destination, the touch turning into a strong, painful grip. He once again attempted to pull away... but Daniel's grip on his wrists, and his body pressed against him held him firmly in place. He squeezed his eyes even more tightly shut, and attempted to control his breathing as the grip slowly became stronger and more painful.

He felt Daniel press against him even further, his injured ribs protesting the pressure by igniting a fiery pain. He gagged and twisted his head away as he felt Daniel's hot breath ghosting over his cheek, and felt the tears forming in his eyes as the mouth made contact with his skin once again, drifting along his jaw and trailing down his neck.

He didn't know how much longer he could handle this. He felt his body and mind wanting to shut down, to protect him from what was happening, but he fought it. He knew how devastated Abby would be by how far this had already gone, let alone if it went any further... and once he thought of that he couldn't help but think of the rest of the team. He needed to survive. Needed to fight.

With a monumental effort, he once again attempted to ignore Daniel's unwanted attention to his body, only giving in to the occasional whimper and jerk, as the touches became bruising, forceful and more demanding. Glancing around, he saw the other man still standing there, his eyes focused directly on him... _**waiting for his turn**_, his brain whispered. The thought made Tim shiver and cringe, before he determinedly reminded himself that there was no way it was going to get to that. No.

And then it happened. Daniel moved back for a moment, giving him a swift punch to the gut in an apparent attempt to wind him. The move was obviously meant to incapacitate him momentarily, as Daniel pulled back further, reaching towards the zipper on Tim's pants and his own. Tim latched onto the opening, and swiftly brought his knee up straight into Daniel's groin.

He was rewarded with a surprised grunt of pain as Daniel stumbled backwards, and Tim was immediately in motion. As Daniel continued to stumble the other man moved forwards to grab Tim, but he twisted just as he'd been taught, ignoring how the pain in his chest flared in protest. Slipping a hand behind his back he easily slid the knife from its concealed sheath. He gripped it confidently in his hand, glad for Ziva's coaching on using the weapon effectively. Tim saw, with some satisfaction, that Daniel was still doubled over, breathing deeply. He moved all of his focus onto the still able bodied attacker, who was making a second attempt to grab him. Instead of backing away he moved closer, aiming for surprise. Before the man could react to the unexpected move he delivered a quick punch, following this up by slashing quickly at the reaching hand with the knife, he felt it make contact and heard the resulting noise of pain. His attacker reacted immediately to the wound, automatically retracting his hand and taking a step backwards.

As soon as he'd heard the grunt of pain Tim had bent down and retrieved his gun from the ankle holster, letting the knife drop out of his hands and clatter to the floor and sliding his badge from his pocket as he straightened. He expertly trained the gun, kicking the knife off to the side and out of reach, while taking a few steps backward. He flipped the badge open, tensing his body in an attempt to keep his gun steady and his stance firm.

"Federal Agent, slowly drop to your knees or I will drop you." He was proud that his voice remained steady, and he flicked his gaze between the two men, watching for any sudden movements. He felt another grim sense of satisfaction as he saw them staring wide eyed at the badge, momentarily refusing to accept the reality in front of them. The second man recovered first, his face taking on a look of fury.

"He's a fucking cop, Dan you _**idiot**_!"

"And the cop is telling you to get on your knees!" McGee interrupted, giving the gun a jerk for emphasis. He couldn't let them get the upper hand again, not until he let someone know where he was and that he needed help. That meant gaining and keeping control.

He watched as they slowly lowered down, hands raised above their heads. He almost felt like rolling his eyes at how people were always surprised at his profession, it wasn't that unbelievable. He briefly wondered how he was finding any humour in this situation, before he reasoned he was probably going into shock. He needed help now, before he crashed hard. He focused on bringing back the cocky cop persona, using Tony's attitude as a basic guideline. He was about to trade his badge for his phone still in his pocket, when Daniel spoke.

"So what happens now?" Dan questioned, "Gonna shoot us?" He still looked defiant and unafraid; despite the fact a guy he was moments ago attempting to rape was now pointing a gun at him.

He snorted, "I'm not ruining my career over you." He stated, "So no, unless you try something I won't shoot."

"So, what you gonna do?" The second attacker asked, defiance still plain on his face. Tim felt momentary exasperation, why was he never seen as a threat? Still, he began stashing his badge away and reaching for his phone.

"My job. Call for someone to come and help arrest you."

He grinned as a thought popped into his head.

"Although you may want to try something before they get here."

Daniel scoffed,

"And give you a reason to shoot?"

Tim let out a sharp laugh,

"You may regret that decision." He let out a weak grin at their confusion. He felt his muscles weakening as the adrenaline began to wear off and the reality of what had almost happened started to sink in. "Because, now?..." he informed them in as strong voice as he could manage, "I'm going to call my Boss."


	2. Chapter 2

The two of them looked at him in disbelief,

"You're...calling your Boss?" Daniel questioned. The two faces took on a sneer of derision, and...they almost looked **_more _**confident than before. But that didn't make any **_sense_**.

"That's it?" The other man put in. Tim could hear the slight edge of disbelief.

"That's it." Maybe they thought he'd shoot them? Use his advantage to get revenge? But this **_was_** his revenge. They would find that out soon enough, and like he'd said before, the bullet may start to look good after they came face to face with Gibbs and the rest of his team.

He started revising the assessment of their reaction as he went for the phone again. Daniel started talking as soon as it was out of his pocket.

"Maybe you want to think about this first." Daniel smirked up at him as he talked, the confidence still there. Which didn't make **_any sense_**. They were about to be arrested... so why...

His thought process was interrupted as Daniel's accomplice started to talk,

"That whole right to remain silent? We won't exercise it. We'll talk. But we can be...creative. **_Graphic_**."

He froze in shock, they were...threatening him?

"Now from what I hear" His eyes flicked to the other man as he spoke, "Gay cops aren't always... well you get the picture."

And for a brief second he does consider putting the phone away. Because his career **_had_** always been the biggest factor in keeping this private. He knew he couldn't lose his job, but once word got round there would definitely be some people in the navy yard that would look at and treat him differently.

_But the most important ones won't, c_ame the voice in the back of his head. Decision made he kept going with his original plan, only slightly hesitant about calling his team. The topic had never really come up, but he was sure that they wouldn't treat him any differently once they found out... he just wasn't sure how they'd react to not being told until something like this had happened.

But he needed them. And soon. He could feel his muscles beginning to quiver with the effort it took to simply maintain his stance. Different parts of his body all called for attention with flares of pain, and his vision kept swirling every so often.

Focus. He told himself. He needed the team, and he didn't want to have to explain...everything to them after they arrived, not with these two watching and listening in. Didn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they had been right, that they would be outing him. That left him only one option... to come straight out with it over the phone. While it wasn't his favourite plan, he was out of options.

Looking right at the two men in front of him, he continued to unlock his phone, hitting the speed dial and lifting it to his ear. He felt satisfaction flow through him as, for the first time, their confidence seemed to diminish.

He listened as the phone rang. It wasn't answered immediately, and he briefly considered hanging up and calling Tony instead. He would know what to do, and he desperately wanted to feel... better. Not scared or hurt, or all the other emotions that had...

_"Gibbs_." It took him a moment to respond to the gruff tone, and he could hear Gibbs' impatience building when he spoke again, obviously having checked the caller ID,

_"There a reason you're calling me, McGee?"_

Gaze still fixed on the two men in front of him; he forced himself to begin talking.

"Uh, yeah Boss...you still at the office?"

He hoped the answer was yes. The navy yard was closer than Gibbs' house, and he wanted his own team to come and help him with this. **_Needed_** it to be his own team.

"_Yeah McGee, you need something?"_ He fought the urge to sigh with relief as he asked his next question,

"Are Tony and Ziva with you?"

"_Yeah McGee, they're here_."

He hesitated slightly in his reply, but if he's going to do this he wanted to get it over with. The easiest way to do that was to tell them all at once.

"Can you put me on speaker?"

"_Yeah McGee, hang on a moment_." He swore he could almost hear the concern in Gibbs' voice. It's...reassuring, and made him give a small smile. This widened into a slight grin as he heard Gibbs obviously hit a few of the wrong buttons before the sound of his voice changed.

_"Done McGee, now what's the problem?"_

He hesitated slightly once more, but he needed to do this, **_wanted_** to do this. He'd always planned on telling them eventually, but it had never really been relevant. Until now. He just needed a way to do it casually, as if they already knew.

"Well I was on a blind date with a guy Abby set me up with..." He made sure his voice was normal, trying not to let his uncertainty and apprehension creep into the tone. Counting on them to pick up on his wording, he held his breath and waited for the reaction.

* * *

"Why is it McGoogle gets to go, and we're stuck here?" Tony whined to Ziva, leaning back in his chair, raising his arms above his head, and interlocking his fingers as he stretched. Ziva opened her mouth to reply when Gibbs walked into the bullpen.

"Maybe because his report was on my desk hours ago DiNozzo?" he commented, moving to sit behind his own desk.

"His _completed_ report"

Tony quickly straightened up and leant forward again,

"Yes Boss, of course Boss... will be done soon Boss." He began typing at his computer, while Ziva also ducked her head to hide her amusement.

The team remained silent, apart from the clacking of the keyboards, until Gibbs' phone rang. Tony and Ziva's heads both rose from their work to share a glance, before turning their attention to watching Gibbs.

Gibbs took the phone out and flipped it open, not bothering to glance at the display before bringing it to his ear,

"Gibbs." There was silence on the other end of the call, but whoever it was was definitely still on the line. He frowned and moved the phone away from his ear so he could glance at it and read the caller ID. A small knot of worry began to build in his gut. Out of all of his agents, this one was the least likely to call him late at night. He brought the phone back to his ear,

"There a reason you're calling me, McGee?"

He saw the other two members of his team stiffen in shock at the name, glancing at each other in worry. He heard a deep breath on the other end of the call, as if Tim was preparing himself to say something. He listened as his agent finally began to talk,

_"Uh, yeah Boss... you still at the office?"_ Frowning at the question Gibbs replied,

"Yeah McGee, you need something?"

_"Are Tony and Ziva with you?"_ Glancing up at the, two he saw them desperately straining to hear the conversation,

"Yeah McGee, they're here." He confirmed.

_"... Can you put me on speaker?"_ Frowning even further, Gibbs glanced at the two agents again, gesturing them over, feeling a brief flash of amusement as they both sprang to their feet and moved quickly in front of his desk.

"Yeah McGee, hang on a moment." He took the phone away from his ear, and ignoring the worried, and questioning looks from his team, as he placed the phone on his desk, pressing a few buttons before he found the one to put it on speaker.

"Done McGee, now what's the problem?" There was a pause, and they all looked at each other, before returning their attention to the phone as Tim's voice came through.

_"Well, I was out on a blind date with a guy Abby set me up with..."_ They froze for a moment, picking up on Tim's wording, before Ziva's face split into a grin and she pointed a finger at Tony.

"You owe me twenty dollars!"

Tony groaned,

"You couldn't have waited a month to tell us McBiCurious? Ziva's time frame was almost up!"

Gibbs shook his head slightly, but frowned again when he considered why this could be a problem. There was a pause on the phone, and the other two also realised they still hadn't got to the reason Tim had called.

"I can't... I can't believe you had a bet on that." There was the sound of relief, but there was still something wrong with McGee's voice.

Gibbs watched as Tony frowned and asked what they were all thinking,

"Never mind that McProbalicious, what did you need?" They all leaned in closer listening intently for the answer.

_"I need back up, I don't have handcuffs on me and I need to make two arrests."_ Ziva moved round to Gibbs' computer, as he shifted out of the way, allowing her to traceMcGee's location whilst listening to the rest of the explanation.

"You witness a crime on your date Probie?" Tony prompted when McGee didn't seem to be talking.

_"...Something like that, I ..."_ Tim cut off, and Tony opened his mouth to say something, when they all tensed at the words that came over the phone, obviously no longer talking to them,

_"What did I tell you? Back on your knees!"_

Ziva willed the search to go faster, jumping up as soon as the computer produced an address. Gibbs and Tony began to move too, picking up the phone, grabbing guns and badges, before heading towards the elevator.

* * *

McGee's eyes narrowed as the second of his attackers shifted, beginning to rise out of his kneeling position. Encouraged by the knowledge his team would soon be on their way, he found it easier to keep his voice even and steady,

"What did I tell you? Back on your knees!"

He gestured with the gun in his hand for emphasis, and watched carefully as the man slowly sank back down.

"Chill alright? I was only stretching."

"I don't care." Tim countered, "I told you, try something, I shoot. Are we clear?"

The two men nodded.

"Great." Tim muttered, "Glad we cleared that up."

He turned his attention back to his phone, letting a small smile slip onto his face as he heard the roaring engine on the other end of the line.

"Boss?"

"_We're on our way McGee." _Gibbs reassured him, before Tony jumped in with,

"_And Ziva's driving, so won't be long now."_

He fought the urge to laugh,

"_Stay on the phone McGee_." Gibbs ordered, suddenly, "_And sit rep."_

"Two offenders." He kept his tone clinical and to the point, but knew that they could pick up on the exhaustion and tension he was feeling. "Likely unarmed but..."

_"I meant you McGee."_ Gibbs cut in, "_What's your status?"_

He paused and that was apparently enough. He heard the engine roar slightly louder in response.

_"McGee!"_

"Uh...minimal harm Boss. I'll need to get checked out but I'll be fine."

He didn't want the two men in front of him to know how badly he was feeling right now. He was barely holding onto control of the situation as it was, the last thing he needed was for them to try and take advantage of his injuries. His trembling muscles, burning ribs and pounding head had been slowly clawing their way to the front of his attention span as it was. But it was ok. The team was at most a few minutes away. He'd be fine.

* * *

It's only a short while later that he hears a car speeding down a nearby street, continuing to get closer until it screeches to a halt at the end of the alley. He listened as the doors swung open and three sets of footsteps made their way quickly towards him.

Within moments there was someone standing right beside him. Glancing over, he saw Tony, gun already aimed at the two men on the ground. Warmth and relief flowed through him, increasing as both Ziva and Gibbs entered his sightline and moved behind the two, guns also drawn and aimed.

For the first time his attackers looked truly afraid. Maybe they'd thought he'd been bluffing about calling in reinforcements. He glances over at Gibbs, only to see him returning the look, sweeping him up and down. Seconds later Gibbs is looking him right in the eyes, his expression nearly blank apart from a barely noticeable frown,

"McGee?" He asked, making his meaning clear with the look and tone alone. Ziva's gaze didn't shift from the men in front of her but he saw her tense waiting for the answer while Tony's head turned towards him.

"I'll be fine." He repeated. Gibbs scrutinised him again, clearly not buying it, but nodded and returned his attention to the men on the ground, drawing a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. Ziva mirrors the action before they both glance at McGee. Taking that as his cue he breathed deeply before looking into the eyes of the men on the ground,

"You are both under arrest for the assault..." he paused for a moment, hating what his team were about to hear, before he continued, "sexual assault, and attempted rape of a federal agent."

Time seems to stand still before the reactions set in. Gibbs audibly growled, stepping close to Daniel and basically lifting him to his feet, Ziva once again mirroring his movements. He hears her muttering in Hebrew under her breath, which, even if there are no subtitles, he can't mistake for anything but a threat.

Both of them slam the men they are holding into the alley wall with a thud, before violently twisting their arms behind their backs and snapping the cuffs into place. If the protests and grunts are anything to go by neither of them were particularly gentle with that either.

"This is police brutality!" Daniel complains, before Gibbs growls again and pushes him more firmly against the wall. McGee swear he gives a small smile at the grunt of pain Daniel gives, before turning to Ziva,

"Brutality?" He questions her. She smiles dangerously in return, shoving her own prisoner further into the wall as well,

"Not at all Gibbs. I believe it was extremely necessary force."

She glances over at McGee, looking him up and down as Gibbs had before frowning and turning back to the man she's holding and leaning in to whisper in his ear,

"And once I hear the full story, maybe more will be necessary, yes?"

* * *

McGee slowly lowered his weapon as he watched Ziva and Gibbs take complete control of the situation, beginning to pat down the two men and reading their rights. His body is beginning to shake violently now, the muscles he had been holding taut and rigid slowly starting to give out. He suddenly feels fragile, as if he'll break at any second, while the fear, shock and pain he'd been holding at bay all assault him at once. He distantly notices the blood on his hands and wrists for the first time. It's in thin trails emanating from the scrapes in his skin, and he can feel tugging where some of it has already dried. He wants to sit down... no, lie down and sleep. He feels exhausted.

It takes him a second to remember Tony is stood next to him. He needs help, now, and Tony is a good option, a **_great _**option. He turns to him, about to speak, only to freeze when he sees Tony's position. His eyes are narrowed and his stare icy, rivalling both Gibbs and Ziva's in its ferocity. His gun is lowered slightly, but still held so tightly that Tim can see the white knuckles, as the trigger finger flexes. It looks like Tony is using all of his self control not to fire.

Pushing his own needs to the side he focuses on Tony. He can't let him ruin his career by getting angry now on his behalf. Tony loves this job, he knows that. He's seen the way Tony's eyes positively glow, the satisfaction he feels when they close a case, save a victim. Tony lives for this stuff. It's a part of him. So he can't let him lose it, especially not because of him. He can't let Tony hurt himself like that he... cares about him too much.

He wants to laugh at that thought the moment it enters his head. Because isn't that just the whole problem? He's started to care too much about Tony DiNozzo. He feels that undefined something in the pit of his stomach when he looks at him, hears him laugh, or watches the aforementioned sparkle in his eyes.

He realises that he's going off on a tangent, but it's slowly becoming more difficult to focus. But, no, he was focusing. Focusing on Tony. Tony...He needed to stop Tony.

Pushing away the confusion he stepped in front of his partner, deliberately placing his body between Tony and the arrest. He gently reached out and placed his hand on Tony's gun, looking him in the eyes s he did so. Tony seems to snap out of whatever fury filled trance he'd been in, as his eyes shoot to Tim's own and he relaxes his death grip on the gun. The moment his finger is away from the trigger he slides the weapon out of Tony's hands, still staring into his eyes.

Tim spoke clearly, carefully stressing each word,

"They're not worth it, you understand me? They. Are. Not. Worth. It." His eyes searched Tony's, and he relaxed as Tony nodded.

"They may be scum, but they are not worth ruining your life over okay?" Tony nodded again, looking over Tim's shoulder towards Gibbs and Ziva.

"Doesn't mean I still don't want to shoot them for... for what they did..."

"Tried to do Tony... I stopped them okay?" He made Tony look at him again, and smiled weakly at him.

Now it was clear Tony wasn't going to do anything stupid, Tim felt his body demanding attention again, and winced at the onslaught of pain. The tremors wracked through his body, causing him to shake and tremble violently.

Tony's eyes locked onto him, widening as they took in the pain lines, and shaking.

"Damn... sorry Tim... we need to get you sitting down..." He reached out as if to touch, and support him, before he froze, glancing again at the two, now cuffed, men.

McGee knew what was going through Tony's head. Every law enforcement officer had it drilled into them not to touch a victim of an assault like he had just experienced, knowing the common reaction was panic and flashbacks. He didn't feel like that would happen. In fact he felt like he _wanted_ Tony to touch him, wanted the reassurance and strength from that contact. Wanted the dread and nausea in his stomach to be replaced by something else.

Tony was still frozen with indecision; so Tim decided for him,

"I think I might need some help to walk" he admitted sheepishly, "You mind?"

Tony looked right at him then, looking shocked for a moment before he nodded,

"Sure Probie, no problem."He smiled at the use of the nickname, and pretended not to notice how Tony hesitated slightly before touching him, and tensed as if waiting for a reaction when he did.

He did react, but not the way Tony was expecting; he didn't flinch or panic. He leaned into the support of the arm around his waist, and lifted his own arm around Tony's shoulders. This was ok. This was safe, this was **_Tony_**. Tony went to move them towards the car, when Daniel called out,

"Careful where you put your hands, he doesn't like being touched _intimately, _makes him whimper and cry."

Tim felt Tony tense and glancing upwards, saw the look of fury returning to his face, as he obviously realised some of what had happened from the wording. He saw the murderous expressions on Gibbs and Ziva's faces as realisation hit them too. It had been one thing to hear Tim call it a sexual assault, but they hadn't known how far it had gone.

A feral snarl seemed to erupt from all three at once, Gibbs, being the one holding Daniel, slammed him into the wall again.

"You want to repeat that?" he growled, moving his face so it was threateningly close to the other man's looking him right in the eye. When Daniel remained silent Gibbs pulled back,

"If either of you," he glanced between the two men, one being held in a ferociously tight grip by Ziva, "So much as _look _at my agent without my permission, you **_will _**regret it. Am I understood?!"

He could feel Tony nodding in agreement beside him, before he tensed as Ziva's prisoner looked at him again. Following his line of sight Ziva started to frown, and punched the guy,

"What did he just say?" she snapped.

"What?!" The man complained, "He" he gestured to Daniel, " just told you...We already did more than look." Ziva snarled, slamming him into the wall once again,

"You are walking on _very _thin ice" she hissed, "And I promise you, if you cross that line one more time... I will regret _nothing_ I do"

Tim let out a small shaky laugh, and everyone's heads whipped towards him. Ziva looked slightly incredulous and he could feel Tony's confusion almost radiating off of him.

"Told you." He offered the two men a shrug, only to wince as it pulled on something already aching in his chest.

"They thought I was going to shoot them." He continued to explain, ignoring how his team's expressions had hardened at the wince. "I told them I had something worse in mind," he watched Gibbs quirk and eyebrow and finished with, "I called you guys."

Tony snorted slightly and Ziva's lips twitched in a grin.

"Yeah, the bullet would probably have been kinder." Tony acknowledged.

Gibbs' voice was steel as he corrected,

"No probably about it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Apologies! The internet was playing up here and going so slowly that I couldn't login without it timing out let alone post/upload anything. People who know about these things assure me it is now fixed though!**

* * *

"Come on Tim; let's get you sitting in the car while someone figures out what we do next."

He muttered an agreement, and Tony continued steering them towards the agency sedan. He could feel the trembling getting worse and he was leaning on Tony more and more with every step, pressing the uninjured side of his chest up against him, seeking out the warmth of the closeness.

He was finding it harder to focus; his vision had begun swimming in and out, blurring. He stumbled momentarily and his legs almost seemed to fold underneath him. It was only Tony quickly taking all of his weight that prevented his face from meeting the alley floor.

"Easy Tim I've got you"

He got his footing back and they took the last few steps towards the car. The doors were all still wide open and he sunk gratefully into the passenger seat. He sat side on, feet on the ground outside of the car.

Suddenly he just needed... to not be here. To have a moment on his own to let all of this sink in properly. Because how did this even_ happen_? He took a couple of shaky breaths, leaning forward to put his elbows on his thighs and put his head in his hands.

Because...that just happened. He tries to tell himself it's over now. Remind himself how well he'd handled it. But suddenly there's doubt. Because he almost _hadn't._ If he'd been a second slower or hadn't taken that opportunity... He remembers Daniel's hands being so _so_ close to...

He took a few more shaky breaths. He's fine. He's fine.

But he can still feel them. Feel it happening. And he feels...like he really _really _wants to take a shower. He wants to be clean and not feel like Daniel's saliva is covering his skin, or like their touches had been branded onto him.

There was a tentative touch on his back, and he froze for a moment, feeling the hand tense as if ready to retreat, before he relaxed into it and looked up at his partner.

"You okay Tim?" He could hear the concern, and saw it in Tony's eyes as well as he looked at him.

"Uh yeah. Yeah...Sorry...sorry..." he breathed out, not even sure what he was apologising for. For a moment Tony inexplicably looked at him as if he was angry,

"You have _nothing_ to be sorry about Probie"

Tony's suddenly there, crouched in front of him, so they're on the same level, Tony's hand shifting round to rest on his shoulder, "You hear me? No apologising."

He took another breath.

"Okay?" Tony questions.

He gave a weak laugh,

"Yeah Tony."

He looked up to see what he'd missed right as Gibbs was making his way over to them. Tony turned and stood up,

"Boss?" He saw Tony inclining his head to where Ziva was alone with the two suspects. Gibbs shook his head,

"She's fine. Got permission to shoot them if they make any sudden movements."

Glancing over again he gave a slight smile as he saw Ziva intently glaring at the two men knelt on the ground in front of her, hands cuffed behind their backs. There was a deadly smirk on her face and he watched as, every so often, she fingered her holstered gun...

Which reminds him.

He nudged Tony and when he turned, handed Tony both their guns. Nodding Tony holstered his own and kept McGee's in hand.

"Hospital or Ducky McGee?" He looks up again at Gibbs' question. The other man seemed to have ignored the exchange he'd just seen, which was probably for the best.

He considered the question. He trusted the team implicitly, and, as Tony had been demonstrating, that meant he could even welcome gentle, comforting touches. Ducky would be almost as easy, but a doctor he'd never met? It should have made the decision for him.

But they needed an air tight case. The camera should be enough, but...

"Hospital Boss" Gibbs and Tony frowned at him,

"You sure Tim? I'm sure Ducky wouldn't mind."

McGee sighed,

"I'd prefer Ducky... but we need an air tight case... that means hospital..." Gibbs nodded in understanding, but Tony was still concerned,

"You sure you'll be okay with that Tim?" He asked gently. He looked sideways and saw the worry on his face, even through his now swimming vision.

"Yeah...but...uh." He feels himself start to blush, "Never mind."

"McGee!" He looks up at Gibbs, the tone had been... and he'd never ever say this to Gibbs' face, but almost _gentle_ as well as demanding,

"Boss?"

"Say if you need something." Came the order, still firm but definitely gentler than normal.

"If...if someone could come with me?"

There's no hesitation,

"DiNozzo, you're taking McGee to Bethesda."

"Sure Boss." Tony nodded instantly, and he felt relieved.

"Take the car. " Gibbs instructed, "We'll wait for metro and get them to take those two back to the yard while we process the scene."

He opened his mouth to agree, before something occurred to him,

"There's a camera." He informed the two of them, twisting slightly to point, while they follow his line of sight, "If it was on it was pointed almost right at..."

_Being forced into the alley...swinging a punch... shadow behind him..._

"...everything." He finished. He pretended not to notice Tony's hand clenching slightly tighter on his shoulder. Gibbs nodded.

"Good call McGee. Anything else?"

He thought back,

"My knife." He concluded, "I kicked it out of reach after I had the gun, but it's around here somewhere."

He saw Gibbs nod, but the angle started changing. It took him a moment to realise he'd started listing to the side, propping himself up against the seat. He allowed his eyes to slip closed for a second as he remembered just how tired he was.

The hand on his shoulder squeezed and he blinked slowly as his eyes reopened.

"Keys McGee. We'll drive your car back to the yard." That was definitely said in a gentle tone.

Instead of pointing that out he nodded, ignoring how it made his head pound, and vision swirl slightly. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his keys and held them out, Gibbs taking them from his grasp.

"Where'd you park McGee?"

He tried to think.

"Little way down the street." He frowned, "Maybe another street over?"

"We'll find it." Gibbs decided, before he was crouching down in front of him as Tony had. "You're going to be fine McGee."

He could only nod at the sincere reassurance hidden within what was almost certainly an order.

"I know." He agreed. Because he will be. Eventually.

Gibbs stared at him for a second longer before nodding and standing,

"You call me as soon as you're done." He ordered Tony, before striding back over to Ziva and the two men on the floor.

"Alright, you heard the Boss man. Bethesda here we come."

Tony suddenly frowned at him, and he's sure some of his reservations must have slipped onto his face.

"Hey McGee, we can go to Ducky..."

And he's tempted, but he needs to do this.

"No. No. Bethesda." He tried to sound decisive, "Bethesda's fine."

Tony offers him an uneasy grin,

"If you're sure. Might be easier having someone you know?"

Bethesda. Someone he knows. He blamed his head wound for him not seeing this solution sooner.

"I...might have someone."

Tony quirked an eyebrow in question,

"Oh yeah?"

He reaches into his pocket to fetch his phone,

"I still have Dr. Pitt's number." He told him, thumbing the speed dial and hitting call, wincing at the flare of protest from his ribs as he raised the phone to his ear, quickly causing him to switch to the other hand.

"_Dr. Pitt_." Came the greeting as the man on the other and picked up.

"Hi, Brad it's Tim McGee..."

There's a beat of silence and then the voice suddenly becomes demanding,

"_Is Tony...?"_

"No, no. It's me...I need a doctor I know to check me out...would you mind meeting me at Bethesda or..."

"_That's fine_." He's interrupted quickly, "_I'm already here, shift's almost over, I'll just hang around...what's wrong exactly?"_

"I...It's not really that serious... I just need someone to document evidence of...I was assaulted."

He settles on. He can elaborate when he gets there. There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"_How bad?"_

He let out a slow breath,

"I'm not sure. Concussion? Ribs, bruising?"

Another pause,

"_So as far as documenting goes...Camera?"_

"Yeah..." he agreed, before he remembered his earlier thoughts about saliva. He shivers slightly, suddenly imagining where it must be coating his skin, making it feel like those patches are burning..."Actually some swabs as well. There could be DNA."

Tony's eyes widen and his fists clench slightly while Tim watches him. He could almost see him wanting to ask, but he kept quiet.

"_Get here. I'll set up an exam room, just ask for me at the desk."_ Brad requested, and he felt himself relax marginally at the reassurance that it won't be a stranger doing all of this.

"Thanks Brad. Really."

"_No problem. I'll see you soon._"

He gives an affirmative and hangs up. The moment the screen goes dark Tony's asking the question,

"DNA?" his voice was tightly strung, as if he was holding himself in check. He looked and saw that Tony's fist was still tightly clenched. He thinks about lying, saying something about scratching one of them and fingernails, but he wanted Tony in the exam room with him, and if the camera recorded it all, then at some point he was going to see.

"He was...he was kissing, and biting and..." he felt his breathing speed slightly and Tony slips back down into his crouch, looking him in the eyes again.

"It's ok. You're ok. Sorry I asked Tim. I'm so sorry..."

He offers a weak grin,

"Hey if I'm not allowed to give unnecessary apologies..."

Tony grins back, but it's quite possibly one of the weakest grins he's ever seen from him,

"Alright. Point taken. Pot, kettle...so, ready to blow this Popsicle stand?"

"Oh yeah." He mumbled, lifting his legs into the car, and twisting so he was the right way in the seat. He attempted to twist and grab the seatbelt, but before his chest had barely started to voice a complaint, Tony was leaning into the car and clipping it over him.

"Don't' glare at me like that McBruised." Tony warned as he finished strapping him in. "Your ribs would not have thanked you for that. At all."

"Thanks Tony." He muttered, letting his eyes slip closed again and his body relax into the seat as much as it could. A moment later his eyes snapped open again with a yelp after his head made contact with the headrest. Tony swung the door back open where he'd started to close it and was suddenly right there again,

"What happened?!" His partner demanded. His vision swam as his head continued to protest the pressure he'd unthinkingly put against the wound, ramping up the pounding and causing vicious spikes of pain to race across his skull at random intervals.

"Tim?"

The slight panic in the tone made him remember Tony was waiting for an answer,

"Shouldn't have leaned back..." he trailed off. Tony's jaw went tighter with worry and he leaned towards him.

"Let me take a look."

He obliged and leaned forward in the seat, giving Tony easy access to the back of his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Tony hesitate again before he touched him, but just like before he didn't react; apart from to relax under the gentle touch as Tony supported his forehead and placed another hand on the back of his neck, obviously not wanting to touch the wounded area.

He heard Tony draw in a sharp breath, before the hands disappeared and he heard the rustling of fabric. Looking up he saw Tony taking off his tie and glancing his way,

"Why didn't you tell me the head wound was bleeding?" he admonished, reaching towards him again with the wadded up tie.

He thought back and remembered he had felt blood at one point, but had forgotten about it until now.

"Forgot" he answered simply, wincing slightly as Tony pressed the tie to the back of his head.

"Sorry McGee." Tony apologised, "But we need to stop the bleeding... you think you can hold this on while I drive? The sooner we get you to the hospital the better."

"Sure." He straightened and reached up his hand from the uninjured side to take over from Tony.

The door slammed closed and then Tony was shutting the open back door and sliding into the driver's seat. The engine purred to life and they quickly reversed out of the alley entrance. They moved off down the street and he closed his eyes, enjoying the fact that every second took them further away from the alley. They remained in silence for a while, and despite not opening his eyes he could feel Tony's gaze on him every so often. He almost jumped when the other man finally started speaking,

"Sooo...you have Brad on speed dial?" He blinked his eyes open and looked at Tony, unsure if this was really something bothering him or just a conversation to fill the silence.

"Yeah?" He frowned, "You're on there too. Along with Gibbs and Ziva and..."

"But that's business." Tony interrupted him, his facial expression unreadable as he continued to stare at the road ahead.

"We're friends too." He pointed out, head still pounding as he tried to figure out where Tony was headed with this. He supposed it would appear slightly odd that he was the one still in contact with Brad when it had been Tony that had spent the most time with him and been his patient. Tony finally took his eyes off of the road to glance at him,

"So...Brad's a friend then?" Tony questioned.

"Mostly." He acknowledged, "There's practical reasons as well but...yeah, he's a friend."

"Practical reasons?" Tony raised his eyebrows and shot him another glance, "If you're in regular need of a doctor I'm sure Ducky would..."

"No!" He corrected, "Nothing like that I..." He trailed off and Tony seemed to take pity on him.

"You don't have to tell me McGee, that's your business."

"I'm not sick." He assured him, and saw Tony shoot him a sceptical look. He closed his eyes for a moment as his head pounded,

"Sorry." He opened them again at the genuine contrition in Tony's tone, "You don't have to talk about this right now."

"No." He corrected him, "It's fine, really. It's better when I'm thinking about something else."

"Alright. I get that." Tony agreed, "So, how does Brad merit a place on speed dial?..." Tony looked at him again with a frown, cutting him off before he could answer, "He's not higher than me is he?"

He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him at Tony's obvious attempt to lighten the situation,

"Well...he is number 7." He stated gravely, and Tony turned to him in mock outrage,

"I'm lower than 7? McGee! I thought I meant more to you than that?!" That caused him to freeze, stunned into silence. Because Tony couldn't possibly _know_. He realised he should answer when the look Tony shot him was accompanied by a slight frown.

"Where do you think you are?" He countered, but even he could hear the slight edge and strain in his voice.

"Are you alright?" Tony asked instead, frowning again as he shot him a sideways look. "Pain getting worse?"

"I'll be fine." He told him, "Really."

"If you say so." Tony didn't sound convinced but seemed to leave the topic alone as he switched back to their previous track, "So, come on McGee, tell me, where do I rate on speed dial? A 6?"

"Nope." He informed him, and Tony frowned,

"I'm _**not**_ lower than Brad, right?"

"No Tony." He confirmed, a slight laugh in his voice, "You are definitely not lower than Brad."

"Ok then." Tony sounded pleased, and shot him a grin, "Good to know. So...5?"

"2." He stated, not looking at the other man.

"Huh?" He glanced over at the incredulous noise to see Tony looking at him again, "What?"

"You're second."

Tony frowned at him, still looking sceptical,

"So, who beat me?"

"Abby." He informed him.

"Gibbs?" Tony questioned, sounding slightly incredulous now. He let out a small laugh,

"Don't sound so surprised. It made sense. You're my partner, we hang out on weekends, I call you more often that I call Gibbs..."

"Alright." Tony interrupted, "I get it...So why is Brad on there?"

"It...It's kind of stupid." He told him, feeling some heat rush to his face as he said it. This time when he glanced at him Tony looked intrigued,

"Okaaaay. Like what?"

"We spent a lot of time together... you know, for a few days when... Well you remember."

Tony nodded,

"Yeah, I remember you being there a few times when I was awake."

"Well I talked to Brad a few times, and we got along. He gave me his number in case... well in case anything happened."

Tony frowned again as he looked at him,

"Like what?"

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, knowing that would not help the vision problems or the head pounding,

"The team came to visit you Tony, he got to hear how accident prone you are and was worried."

"I'm not..." Tony started to protest, and he glared at him as best he could with how exhausted he was,

"Danger magnet." He stated, "Anyway, his main concern was that if you got injured in the field or your lungs were compromised in some way...well he wanted us to be aware that there would be greater risks now. I figured if something did happen it would be better for a doctor who knew your case to be available, so I asked for his number, just in case, you know?"

Tony nodded in understanding, shooting him another unreadable look before turning back to the road,

"Yeah... you were worried?" It sounded like a question, and Tim let out a humourless laugh,

"Of course I was worried! My partner had almost _died_ from a medieval disease, and now I was being told that if he was injured in the field – something that seemed to happen to him more frequently than any other agent – there was a chance he wouldn't stay alive long enough for an ambulance... I wasn't worried... I was terrified!... But I had his number in case, but then Kate..."

The last part was almost a sob as he got more emotional as his speech went on. The shaking was back now, and his breathing was speeding up again, becoming harsh and wheezing as his ribs flared at the rapid panicked intakes of air. Tony glanced at him worried,

"Breathe Tim... that's it... you need to stay calm alright?..."

He felt the car rumble beneath him as Tony inched the accelerator down as he panicked. He took deep breaths, regulating his breathing back to a normal level and blinking back the tears that were only adding to his vision problems.

Once he was composed again he continued with his explanation,

"After that... there was nothing I could have done for her... I knew that... but then I began thinking, if you were injured... struggling to breathe... I wouldn't be able to do anything then either... I wouldn't know how... we didn't have time to help Kate, but if it ever came to that and I had time to help you... I wouldn't want to waste it because I didn't know how."

Tony shot him a confused and concerned look,

"So... what did you do?"

He looked right at Tony, catching his gaze before Tony's eyes flicked back to the road. Tim turned his head away and looked out the window,

"I... I called and asked Brad for a favour..." he trailed off not knowing how to put this,

"And..." Tony prompted. He turned back around to see Tony looking at him curiously every few seconds.

"And he taught me some basic field medicine. I know he was mainly just humouring me, but the thought that I might actually be able to help... helped."

"We already do first aid at work McGee."

"I know...this was more specific. "

"Like what?" He looked at Tony trying to judge his tone, before he gave a small shrug so as to not aggravate anything,

"Just...anything that if something does happen that could make it easier for you to breathe until we get you help. Putting makeshift chest tubes in or the whole breathing tube in the throat thing..." He turned to look out of the window as he continued, feeling a blush spread over his face, "I know Ducky or Palmer could do all of that, but most of the time they aren't in the field with us and..."

He kept looking out of the window, feeling awkward at the sudden silence in the car as his rambling trailed off. He didn't know how Tony was going to react to his admission. He knew some people might consider it going slightly overboard, but Tony was his partner, and even before he started feeling... complicated things he wouldn't think about right now, he hadn't been able to stand the thought of watching helplessly as Tony struggled to breathe in front of him. Having Brad on speed dial hadn't been enough, especially if Tony wouldn't have been able to hang on until they got him to the hospital.

The silence continued for a minute before Tony broke it,

"You...really did that?" Tony's voice sounded as if he was trying to hold back emotion that was ready to burst out of him.

Tim turned so he was facing him again, nodding his head slightly, mindful of the wound and a slowly building headache,

"Well... yeah..."

Tony glanced at him again, his expression not so blank anymore, as he gave him a fond smile before turning his head back to face the road.

"So... if I get injured I should definitely come to you?" He smiled slightly,

"Definitely... I would appreciate it if you didn't get injured in the first place though."

"Seems kind of late to say 'same to you'... besides I don't know how to use a pen or whatever to get you to breathe if that did happen... you should definitely wait for a doctor on that front... unless you could teach me?"

He smiled slightly at that.

"I could teach you... you could even use a pen if you want to."

Tony looked at him with his own small smile,

"Don't mock me McGee... I have no idea what kind of equipment you would use..." He paused as he turned to him again, the curious look returning,

"Not that I'm not grateful you care this much about keeping me alive... I really do..." He trailed off there for a moment,

"It.. it means a lot to me... not that I blame you, who wouldn't want me around?"

He let out a small laugh at the return of the joking he knew so well, as Tony continued,

"But seriously... what were you planning to shove into my throat out in the field?"

"Well as you frequently remind me Tony, I was a boy scout... we always come prepared."

Again Tony glanced at him, frowning slightly,

"You've been carrying around that kind of stuff?"

He nodded,

"Remember when you helped me adapt my belt slightly, you know putting the concealed sheath for the knife in the back... that came in handy today by the way."

Tony's eyes widened as he looked at him,

"You stabbed them... Way to go Probie!"

Tim laughed again, still amazed at how relaxed Tony was able to make him feel,

"Scratched one of them Tony... I just needed a distraction to get to my gun, the knife wound made him back off..."

He trailed off as his mind threatened to drag him back there... _the feeling of desperation, the need to get away..._

"Tim?... You okay?"

He brought himself out of it, and smiled weakly at Tony,

"Yeah... fine... anyway, the belt." He saw the doubtful look Tony shot his way, and noticed as the car increased in speed again, but continued talking, allowing the new topic to calm him.

"I just added a few mini pocket style things on the inside of it... I always have a sterilised and sealed scalpel and plastic tube on me." He shrugged, "It's just become habit now."

Tony looked at him again, before a slight smile came onto his face,

"What?" Tim asked. The smirk increased,

"You have the weirdest superhero utility belt ever."

He looked at Tony for a moment before he burst out laughing, ignoring the twinge it caused in his ribs. Only Tony.


	4. Chapter 4

**Quick note: I don't have any medical training so some of the stuff in here may not be accurate, despite some googling of ER policies, as a lot of the recommendations seemed to differ**

* * *

He winced as the car hit a rough patch in the road and he was jolted in his seat, the vibration rattling through him and setting off spikes of pain all over. He saw Tony shoot him a glance, and the car slowed,

"Sorry."

"Not your fault." He reassured him, almost rolling his eyes as Tony glanced at him again, raising an eyebrow,

"What? Do you want me to blame you for the pot holes?"

"Guess not." Tony agreed. A few moments later they hit another unavoidable dip. He bounced in his seat and couldn't stop the hiss that was forced out of him as his chest flared up, screwing his eyes shut as he attempted to ride it out,

"Sorry, sorry...Tim, you okay?" He waited a moment as the pain calmed to a dull ache before he replied,

"Fine..." He trailed off as Tony shot him a disbelieving look,

"Okay... my ribs are aching a bit." Tony glanced at him again,

"A bit?" He rolled his eyes, pausing as his vision swam with the movement,

"Okay a lot." Tony smiled slightly,

"I may not be a human lie detector like Ziva, but even I could see through that one McGee... how's the head?"

He gingerly eased Tony's tie off of his skull and gently probed the wound with his fingers, hissing slightly at the pain the pressure caused and the unpleasant feeling of blood congealing and drying in his hair.

"Tender?" Tony winced in sympathy.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the bleeding's stopped." He pulled the tie completely away. Grimacing as the material was stuck against the blood for a moment, and tugged on the hair and skin.

"Just keep the tie handy in case it starts up again."

He wanted to smile at the honest concern in Tony's voice. It wasn't often that Tony showed openly how much he cared. He knew he did, okay maybe not in the way Tim wanted him to care, but in a brotherly kind of way. He could live with that.

Tony glanced at him again, and he realised he had been trailing off into thoughts he should _not_ be entertaining while alone in the car with Tony, in a confused and emotional state, and with a head wound that was clouding his thought process...there was no telling what thoughts he would randomly let slip.

He smiled slightly to reassure Tony, before he closed his eyes. He just felt so tired, like he just wanted to shut down and slip away. He felt emotions he had been trying to push down threaten to break out of him, the fear, the horror... he blinked back tears and shivered as the memories threatened to come flooding back.

He tried to focus on something, anything else. He listened to the thrum of the engine, felt the throbbing in his head and ribs... listened as Tony breathed. He focused on that, drew strength from it... Tony was here, he wasn't alone, Tony brought safety and protection. Tony would never hurt him, would try and stop anyone that tried. He remembered Tony holding his gun, looking as if he would kill the men on the spot, the sense of safety knowing how far Tony, or any member of his team, would go to protect him. He was safe.

He repeated those thoughts over and over, feeling the sudden tension and panic evaporate as Tony's mere presence relaxed him and made him feel secure. When they first met he had been nervous around Tony, and in his first few months on the team had always been waiting for whatever prank or joke it was that Tony was going to pull next. Now though... Yes Tony still joked and pranked but he actually... looked forward to it? It brightened his day; Tony was one of the only people who he could relax completely around, who could make him smile and laugh without restraint, and he enjoyed the feeling of the uncontrollable laughter some of Tony's antics would bring. He looked forward to Tony's next prank because he actually fought back now, and the banter or prank wars that ensued always allowed him to just let loose the childish part of himself that he hadn't been able to indulge before, let him feel like he belonged.

But, even as the thought about it, he knew that this had been building up long before he had been an equal participant in the pranks and banter.

When Gibbs had said Tony tested positive, was dying, he had felt like his whole world had shattered, his brain had frozen, unable to comprehend the idea that some disease from history class was taking him away.

As he had stood by Kate's morgue draw, looking down at her body, just Tony being there had made the overwhelming, grief, sadness and guilt seem just that slightest bit more bearable.

In fact, now that he was focusing on his past reactions to Tony, rather than just the current ones, he realised Tony had been a main feature in his world for sometime... and that for almost as long he had liked, and welcomed him being in that role.

"Tim?" Opening his eyes was an effort, and that scared him, he was on the verge of passing out now that the adrenaline had completely worn off. He forced his eyes to remain open, blinking a few times to try and rid himself of the lethargic feeling. He turned to Tony, and saw the concern and slight relief in his eyes,

"I need you to stay awake for me okay?" He nodded, and he saw Tony give him a strained smile as he turned the wheel to pull them into the hospital,

"Good, I need you conscious; you may have lost weight but I still don't think I could carry you in there."

He smiled weakly,

"Maybe you just need to work out more."

Tony smiled back at him, not even bothering to pretend to be offended, or hide his relief at his increased level of awareness,

"Considering that goose egg on the back of your skull, I'll let you off of the head slap this time _Probie_, but just this once!"

He remembered not to roll his eyes this time and simply let his smile grow,

"So how long is this immunity going to last?"

He saw Tony's smile widen slightly, but the worry was still present,

"I'm not going to answer that, on the off chance that you'll remember even after your concussion wears off."

They pulled into a parking space surprisingly close to the hospital doors, and Tony turned to him, an indecisive look on his face,

"You want to try walk in or want me to go get a wheelchair?"

"Walk in."

His response was probably too quick, and Tony looked to him with concern. But he didn't care. He didn't want to admit it but he knew he was barely hanging on here. Panic kept swelling up inside him, only held at bay when Tony would ask a random question or crack a joke. Because that was normal. And it meant he had someone there that he trusted. Someone who, on many occasions, had proved that he would have his back.

He didn't want to be alone. And if Tony left then he would be. Even if it was just to walk in and get a chair, he'd still not _be there_.

He knew he could ask for his gun back and sit here with it for protection, but he didn't want to.

Because having Tony was better.

And a small part of him didn't trust he, alone, was good enough. That had been what had started to bother him the most every time the...event, kept flashing in his mind. Maybe he _**wasn't **_good enough, couldn't protect himself. Maybe if he'd been better, faster, stronger, then he would have been able to stop it earlier. Would have been able to do something _**more**_.

Tony looked at him for a moment longer, before he nodded, opening the door and sliding out, moving round the front of the car to Tim's side and opening the door. This time when Tony reached out to touch him there was no hesitation. He didn't comment, simply slipped his arm around Tony's shoulders once again, feeling the slight warmth fill him at the knowledge Tony was no longer afraid of reaching out to give him the support he needed, and maybe on some level, knew how implicitly he trusted him.

* * *

Despite how close to the entrance Tony had managed to get them, walking into the hospital still took a while. As his energy waned and his injuries continued to make themselves known his pace had slowed considerably. Tony supported and encouraged him the whole way, but by the time they reached the doors he was ready to sit down... or just lie down and sleep.

He woke up slightly as a shot of panic worked its way through him when they stepped though the doors and into the building. The brightness and warmth that washed over him in the initial moments were welcomed as, although they caused an increased pounding in his head, it was a pronounced difference from the dimly lit alley. The relief this change in surroundings brought, was, however, quickly overshadowed by the realisation of just how many people there were milling around and how exposed and in the open he was. There were doctors and nurses walking with speed and purpose, patients moving in and out through the doors; a constant ebb and flow of people surrounding him. He knew that none of them were trying to hurt him, but he couldn't help but feel increasingly uneasy at the thought of all the people walking up behind him, people he couldn't see coming.

He felt himself become rigid and tense in response, and saw Tony shoot him a concerned look. He shook his head minutely,

"It's nothing..."

Tony didn't look as though he bought the lie, but didn't say anything. He tried to consciously relax, and thought he was marginally successful.

As they went to move forward towards the desk, a man came rushing past, brushing against him as he did, mumbling a quick apology and continuing on his way. It was a minor event but he couldn't help how he flinched and startled, breath hitching and body freezing. Tony looked at him again, this time with understanding, but still didn't say anything, simply squeezing him tighter for a second in reassurance.

And then Tony earned his eternal gratitude. As they continued towards the desk Tony would gently and subtly twist their path or pause momentarily so that no one came within touching distance, and was always between him and whoever approached them. Following Tony's example he simply tightened his grip for a second and shot him a look of gratitude in acknowledgement.

"Don't mention it." Tony muttered under his breath, giving him a quick grin in response as they finally arrived at the nurse's station.

He watched as Tony turned his attention to the young nurse typing away at the computer. She looked like she'd been on a long shift, was dressed in loose scrubs and was sporting a slowly unravelling bun. She was also, however, pretty, young, blonde, and definitely interested in Tony, if the smile and look she shot him when he tapped his badge on the desk and gained her attention was any indication. Even in his state he felt his gut clench at her approving look, as Tony beckoned her over to where they were standing. He felt bad almost instantly as she quickly made her way towards them. He couldn't think badly of her simply because, even though she'd met him seconds ago, she had more of a chance with Tony that he ever would. He had no claim over Tony and he knew their relationship was never going to develop into anything other than the friendly, brotherly point they had already reached.

And so he pushed back the small flare of resentment the woman had sparked, and attempted to smile weakly at her while Tony took it upon himself to make their request.

"Hi, we're looking for Dr. Pitt? He said someone would point us in his direction when we got here?"

The nurse's gaze immediately slipped into a more professional mask, and he once again felt bad for thinking ill of her. She swept the two of them over critically, eyes locking onto the supporting arm Tony had around him, before studying his face intently. He soon realised this was probably because he had a rapidly forming bruise or two, which was confirmed at her slight wince and grimace of sympathy.

"Of course, he's set up in that exam room there." She turned to point out a door a few metres down the corridor directly behind her, before turning back to the two of them, examining how slumped he was and how he was increasingly leaning on Tony.

"Do you two need any help? A wheelchair?"

Before he could respond, or look to Tony and see if the other man needed a break from taking most of his weight, Tony shook his head in the negative,

"No thanks..." Tony paused and obviously looked at the woman's name tag, " Janey, I've got him."

She nodded, and before she could say anything else Tony had them turned and was encouraging him to move off towards the door. He stumbled for a second, and once again it was Tony that helped him keep his balance and regain his footing.

"You alright?" Tony questioned as they got moving again,

"Yeah...just tired." He muttered back, just as they reached the door Janey had pointed out.

"I'm sure you can sleep soon buddy" Tony assured him gently, "... just a little bit longer okay?"

He was about to reply when the door swung open and he heard Brad's greeting,

"Hey Tim" He lifted his head up and saw Brad with an eyebrow quirked and a concerned expression on his face as he took in his appearance.

"Hey Brad, sorry to make you stay late." He apologised as Tony helped him to make his way over to the exam table.

"Not a problem...now what happened to you?"

He stayed silent until, with Tony's assistance, he had managed to ease his way onto the table, wincing as his ribs pulled. Tony went to move away and without thinking he reached out and snagged his sleeve. He saw Tony's eyes shoot to his and he looked away, feeling heat rise in his face as he quickly let go and turned his attention to Brad, doing his best to ignore what had just happened. Tony didn't comment but slid back towards him slightly before leaning against the exam table.

"I was on a date with a guy... he and his friend had very different ideas to mine as to how far the evening was going to go, we ended up...disagreeing, when they tried to...'have some fun'"

He broke off, ignoring the way Tony had tensed once more next to him, and how he could see his fists clenching until the knuckles were white. He saw Brad's face switch from horror, before relaxing slightly as he processed the wording.

"Tried to?" He nodded slightly in confirmation and the relief became more pronounced.

"You really should see the other guys." Tony put in, and he couldn't resist glancing at him, feeling the now familiar curl of warmth start in his stomach as he caught Tony's proud look, "He tells me there was a knife wound involved."

"A scratch Tony." He corrected his partner, "Just to get him to back off."

"And then you pulled a gun." Tony countered, "I bet you looked badass."

He snorted,

"I bet I looked like I was going to pass out."

He looked up as Tony turned to face him fully,

"McGee, it was two on one, you knifed one of them, pulled a gun, and then threatened them with _**Gibbs...that's**_ badass." He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him as Tony finished before Tony frowned suddenly, then looked away from him and to Brad, who was watching with apparent amusement as well as concern.

"Wait, you knew Tim was Bi?" He studied Tony, slightly confused at the hint of jealousy...and suspicion in Tony's voice, watching as his eyes looked Brad up and down with consideration, as if he was a suspect. He almost wrote it off to wishful thinking before he reasoned Tony was probably jealous that he'd confided in a doctor he barely saw before the man he worked with every day.

"An ex turned up once while I was here visiting you." He interjects when he sees Brad throw him a questioning glance, silently asking what he should say. "It's not important."

He left the explanation at that. He was too tired for this. His eyes began to slide closed and he blinked blearily, barely registering the fact that he had started to sway and list to the side. Tony saved him by reaching out and steadying him, hands strong and reassuring on his shoulders,

"Easy man, just a little longer, remember?" Tony's tone was gentle now, and he nodded in response to the question. After a few more blinks he managed to keep his eyes more open and felt slightly more alert as he forced himself to register details off his surroundings; the scent of antiseptic stinging his nose, the feeling of dried blood tugging on his skin, the various aches all over him. The concerned look Brad was shooting him.

"You said you hit your head?" The doctor queried, and he winced at the reminder,

"Yeah..." He shot a glance at Tony who was tensing up again, "There were a couple of hits that knocked me back into a wall."

He could have sworn Tony growled under his breath, a theory which was validated by Brad shooting a look at the other man before turning his attention back to him.

"Do you remember how many times?"

He tried to think back, and ignored the slight grip of panic as he thought everything through,

"Maybe...three?"

Brad nodded, and made a note on the chart in front of him, before studying him again and pointing to his arms,

"And how bad are your hands and wrists?"

Frowning he looked down. He'd expected the redness on his knuckles but the dried blood on his hands made him remember the slight stinging sensation, and the aftermath of the forceful hold...

"I'd forgotten about that..." He muttered to himself, wincing as he pulled one of his sleeves back to study the raw, scraped, and slowly bruising, skin. Before he could do anything else Tony was pulling the sleeve back and looking over the damage himself,

"There's still grit in these." He said voice hard and cold. Tony looked up at him then, face stressed, "What happened to give you these?" His partner demanded.

He flicked his eyes to Brad hoping for him to distract Tony, who seemed to be getting angrier by the second. When no help seemed to be coming he looked back to his partner,

"It was just as he held me against the wall Tony. I was trying to get away and I scraped them on the bricks alright?"

"I'm going to kill them." Tony muttered under his breath, but he nodded and stepped back, nodding to Brad to continue.

"If there's still grit in there I'll flush that out in a second." Brad informs him, "First though, I want to get a look at that head wound, check we're not dealing with anything more serious than a concussion and we'll take it from there...So have you been having any vision or balance problems?"

"I've felt kind of dizzy." He admits, "And Tony's had to help me walk and stand...vision has been getting blurry as well."

Brad nodded thoughtfully, starting to add more notes to the chart in front of him.

"Is that bad?" Tony questioned, causing him to glance at the man and take in the still tense set of his jaw and the worry in his eyes, "I mean I've had concussions and been out of it but..."

He trailed off and Brad smiled reassuringly as he set the chart down on the side,

"I can't be sure until I've taken a closer look, it could just be a concussion. The symptoms are probably worse because of exhaustion, shock and stress from...everything. But to be on the safe side I'll put you in for a head CT."

While he was talking, Brad had begun to move closer. He felt his chest tighten slightly in response to the other man being almost right in front of him. He fought off the suddenly present flight or fight instinct with all he had, trying to banish it to the back of his mind while he tensed his muscles and made his body stay still. The doctor was looking away from him, searching for something in his pocket and so didn't see the moment his eyes had widened in fear before he had forcibly made his body stand down. This was Brad, his friend. It was over, there was nothing to be afraid of, _nothing._ He could do this.

By the time Brad looked up again he had managed to plant a tentative smile on his face, hiding the fear that was still pooling in his stomach and making him feel nauseous. He shouldn't feel this way, Brad had never been anything but kind and understanding, and he was already indebted to him for saving Tony. He was safe. He was a friend...and yet his body was trying to convince him of something completely different. That he should run_, run, __**run**_.

He kept the instinct clamped down, and tried to prepare himself as Brad reached forward, now gripping a penlight. He breathed, trying to keep the pattern slow and even, but all he could focus on was the hand moving towards his face. He tried desperately to hold the ever building panic in; Brad was trying to help. He was good. He was safe.

He thought he was managing, and then the penlight clicked on and was shining directly into his eyes. He snapped them shut against the sudden brightness. It was a natural reaction, instinctive, and normally wouldn't have caused him any issues. But his eyes were now closed, and unfortunately Brad chose that moment to make contact with the un-injured section of his jaw and attempted to tilt his head up.

Not having the visual confirmation that it was Brad touching him, that he was safe, proved to be too much. He immediately flashed back to earlier, everything was too similar and...

_And there was a hand brushing up and down his face, cupping his jaw... he knew what was coming... his eyes screwed shut, he couldn't watch..._

His body reacted on instinct. He flinched and jerked back from the touch, hearing and feeling a strangled whimper make its way out of his throat as he backed up frantically, trying to put as much difference between himself and the perceived threat as possible. His back soon hit a wall and the panic increased, his breath speeding and hitching even more,

_Back against a wall, someone in front of him... threat, threat, threat..._

The pulses of fear kept sweeping through him, and he pressed further back into the wall, letting out another sound of pain as he put pressure on whatever bruises were forming there.

He kept his eyes closed as he tried to push the memories back, tensing when he felt two hands on his arms and someone close in front of him...Only to relax when they began speaking in a tightly controlled voice that suggested this hadn't been the first attempt to gain his attention,

"...McGee? Tim? Come on buddy, open your eyes for me." Letting his body unwind and slowly relax fully, he did as Tony asked, immediately locking gazes with him. He could see the worry, but also felt the reassurance and familiarity Tony was giving off in waves as he kept murmuring softly to him,

"That's it." Tony offered him a grin, "See, you're safe. I won't let anything else happen to you, alright?"

He nodded slowly and blinked, keeping his gaze fixed on Tony as he breathed deeply. Once he was taking smooth and regular amounts of air in he gave Tony a weary smile before breaking the eye contact and glancing over his shoulder, noticing Brad silently observing from as far as he could get in the small exam room. He felt a wave of guilt for reacting like Brad was the enemy and felt a blush rising as he thought through what must have happened. He opened his mouth to apologise, but Tony stopped him,

"Hey, hey!" The reprimand in the tone was soft, and he snapped his eyes back to Tony, "What did I tell you Tim? You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for... or embarrassed about. Do you understand me?"

He dropped his gaze and looked away,

"But..."

Tony purposely moved so he was in his line of sight again, "Nothing!" Tony squeezed his arm lightly where he still held it in a grounding grip, and waited until he looked at him again, "Nothing Tim. It was a natural reaction, and _not your fault_. You're exhausted, confused, and your body knows it's too weak to defend itself again right now. _Instinct_, not you okay?"

Tony's eyes were fixed on him, gaze intense and insistent, and he couldn't help but stare right back, drawing comfort from the sincerity. He nodded again, and let out a small sigh,

"Thanks Tony." That earned him a small smile,

"It's what partners do Tim; I've _always_ got your six."

Tony looked closely at him once more, probably making sure he had been heard, before he released one of his arms, turning to face Brad but still maintaining the comforting and supportive contact. He felt guilty again, as, in the moment they had been sharing, he had completely forgotten the other man was even in the room.

"Sorry Tim I shouldn't have..." he shook his head slightly in denial, cutting off Brad's apology.

"It wasn't your fault... I'm just glad I went for flight rather than fight this time." Brad smirked at him slightly while Tony squeezed his arm,

"And _I'm_ very glad you went for fight back then." He looked at him and Tony shrugged,

"What? They deserved it... I'm glad you stabbed them." Tony nodded emphatically, and he sighed,

"Scratched one Tony." He repeated, before offering a small grin, "It was far more satisfying to knee Daniel in the groin."

Tony's eyes widened and he grinned,

"Oh, I can imagine..." whatever was about to be said trailed off and Tony sobered when he blinked and between one second and the next almost fell to the side. It seemed that the adrenaline crash from the rush of fear had come, Tony steadied him and glanced back at Brad,"You okay for Dr. Pitt to keep looking at you?"

Opening his eyes he could see the worry had crept back into Tony's face. He nodded minutely, but couldn't help the small amount of fear that pulsed through him, multiplying as Tony moved his hand off his arm. He instinctively reached out and grabbed Tony's wrist to keep him close. Tony looked up at him and he quickly let go, turning his eyes away, slightly embarrassed, realising the trace of fear probably showed in his eyes.

He looked up in confusion when, after a second of pause, he felt Tony moving closer and nudging him.

"Shuffle forward a bit." Tony instructed him, and he did so, figuring Tony was making it easier for Brad to examine him. He expected Tony to move away once he was satisfied, but instead he offered him a wink and a grin and hopped onto the table himself, sliding back so he was resting against the wall. He felt Tony continue to shift until he was behind him, one leg curled into a cross-legged position while the other stretched out in front of him. Hands appeared on his arms, pulling back for a moment before stopping. It was a subtle but clear invitation, and after a second he accepted it, sliding backwards slightly so that he could feel Tony's folded leg against his back and the other was pressed against his own as they stuck off the end of the table. He felt safer than he had through the alley, the warmth and familiarity from the contact bringing a rush of security.

"Well, now that you won't fall off the table..." Tony commented from behind him, and he felt his lips twitch as Tony simply tried to brush off the action. "Doc, you can still look at him like this right?"

"Right." He glanced back at Brad and saw him looking between the two of them questioningly before he seemed to shake off whatever was confusing him and smiled.

"Whatever makes you comfortable." The doctor told him, eyes flicking back to Tony again, before he corrected himself, "Or stops you falling."

Something seemed to occur to Brad then, and he opened his mouth as if he wanted to ask, but paused as if he wasn't sure how to go about it. He waited for the question feeling slightly uneasy. Tony seemed to pick up on his tension and soothingly rubbed his arm.

"Tim... It was a sexual assault right?" He nodded slightly and tensed as Brad seemed to hesitate again before he continued.

"I hate to ask but... is there any other... bruising." It took a second before he realised what Brad was getting at and cringed, remembering the tight painful grip as a hand closed around him through his pants. How much it had hurt. How badly he'd wanted it to stop, _**stop stop**_...

He swallowed,

"There... there could be... it was tight and it hurt... a lot... but...I'm not sure."

He trailed off forcing his brain to not pull him back there, and taking deep breaths. He felt Tony's soothing motions pause for a moment as he listened and heard the hushed snarl before they continued.

"That's alright... It doesn't sound like there's serious damage to worry about but it will probably be painful for a while, especially when urinating... I could tell you more if we did an exam, but that's uncomfortable at the best of times and...It's probably best we avoid it if we can."

He had pushed back against Tony, half of his back resting on Tony's chest as he instantly retreated at the mention of an exam, but relaxed as Brad finished. He nodded in agreement knowing Brad understood his reasons.

"So, head wound." Brad continued, obviously trying to ease the tension building up in the room after the previous topic. "I'm going to take a quick look, decide if we're going to be sending you down for a scan, and then take some photos before and after we clear everything up back there, sound good?"

"Sounds fine." He agreed, and obediently leant forward when Brad produced the penlight again. Tony's hand came to rest on his arm, and he started a random stream of chatter the moment the light clicked on,

"Did I ever tell you about that time I led a drugs raid in Baltimore? It was supposed to be my day off but the guy running the team came down with the flu. It had already hit like, half of the department..."

He focused on Tony's voice and hand as Brad made sure to touch his face before shining the light this time. Brad quirked an eyebrow at him in question, and he nodded, he was ready. The light swept and shined into his eyes,

"...and so they had all of these rookies trying to handle a huge bust on their own..."

The light moved from one eye to the other,

"...so there they all were rock paper scissoring for who would have to go in first, and arguing over who got the big guns..."

The light clicked off and Tony trailed off in his story,

"All good?" Came the question from behind him,

"He has a slight concussion for sure." Brad told them, picking up the chart from the side and adding something before he set it back down and turned to face them, "I need to get a look at the actual wound, see if we need to have a trip down to have some scans done."

He leaned forward obediently as Brad stepped back towards them, almost jumping in shock as an arm appeared around his waist to help keep him steady. There was a sharp flash of pain as Brad probed around the wounded area and he hissed.

"Sorry." Came the apology, and the hands soon vanished. He sat up, and looked at Brad,

"So?"

"Nasty knock, but I think you'll be fine once I've cleaned and covered it. We'll still do the CT but from what I've seen back here I'm hoping that'll come up clean." Brad reassured, "Just need to get some mementos first." He retrieved a camera from the far corner of the room and gestured for him to lean forward one more. He closed his eyes through the several flashes of light when they caused sparks of pain in his head and spots in his vision.

"All done." He straightened again, slowly blinking his eyes back open. It got harder each time as tiredness seemed to seep into him. He slumped back, barely reacting as his ribs jarred. He ended up pressed against half of Tony's chest again, and let his head fall sideways onto Tony's shoulder so his cheek was pressed against it.

"Tired?" Brad questioned sympathetically,

"He's been bouncing between aware and about to drift off since we got ...there." Came Tony's reply from behind him, saving him from having to formulate a response. He felt the vibrations of Tony talking through the new contact, and allowed his eyes to slip closed in contentment.

As he relaxed even further, he drifted into a sort of dozing state between asleep and awake, his exhausted body doing its best to stay alert but failing. He barely registered as Brad lifted his shirt to check the bruising on his chest. He hissed and jerked slightly as his torso was probed, but even the flash of pain wasn't enough to wake him fully.

He was pretty much asleep by the time his sleeves were pushed back and wrists gently twisted from side to side so photos could be taken of the grazes and bruising from different angles.

"Tim, you still with us?" The words were accompanied by a small squeeze to his arm. Tony sounded slightly worried again, and he suspected he'd once again missed the first attempt at getting his attention. He hummed a small noise he hoped sounded like an affirmative, not having the strength to even attempt to talk.

"Brad just needs to take some photos of the bruises for evidence, and then clean your head and wrists, alright?"

He nodded to show he'd heard, but simply shifted so he was slightly more comfortable and his face was burrowed against Tony even further, nose coming into contact with the warm skin of the other's neck. He couldn't help but notice Tony's scent when he breathed, it was pleasant and familiar, and he couldn't help but compare it to the sweaty unpleasant smell he associated with his attackers. While their scent had brought disgust and fear, Tony smelled... like home, warm, inviting, comforting. He really liked the way Tony smelled. Distantly he realised he probably shouldn't be thinking these things when he already had a massive crush on his partner, and was lying in his arms; right now though he couldn't be bothered to care, and simply revelled in the contact.

He became slightly more aware when hands twisted his head to get better access, and his eyes snapped open at the sting of antiseptic being applied to the cut. He hissed and a hand squeezed his arm,

"Glad you're still with us." Tony joked, hand sliding up and down his arm in a gesture of comfort while he felt the head wound being cleaned. He winced again as he felt the pressure of a gauze pad being applied. Soon though it was done, and he sighed in relief slightly as Brad moved away, throwing away some bloodied gauze pads and setting a bottle of liquid antiseptic down.

"Right, on the phone you mentioned DNA?" Brad quirked an eyebrow, and removed some small sealed swabs from a pocket. "We should probably deal with that and then I can clean up those grazes."

He felt Tony shift behind him, and an arm appeared at his side, silently offering some plastic evidence bags. Brad took them with a nod of acknowledgement, before looking at him questioningly again.

"Right..." He shifted, and made himself leave his comfortable position and reached a hand up to spread the top of his shirt open slightly. He could feel himself blushing again as he explained, "There was some uh...biting...and licking...around my neck and jaw...there might not be anything left but..."

Brad simply nodded, expression unreadable, but the tension emanating from Tony was almost palpable. The three of them were silent as the swabs were run over the skin before being sealed in a bag. The doctor grabbed the camera and snapped some more photos before reaching for the antiseptic. The doctor's gaze flickered to Tony and the other man had obviously asked some silent question because Brad responded with,

"One of the...bites, broke the skin slightly."

He felt Tony tense again, but was ridiculously glad that he was getting somewhat clean of _**them**_ as the antiseptic was wiped across his skin.

Brad moved onto his wrists next, and despite there being some grit to flush out, and the sharp sting as the doctor worked, it was relatively quick and painless. Finally everything seemed to be done, and after a few, "I'm sure you can sleep soon" reassurances from Tony, he watched Brad move back and snap his gloves off before he seemed to hesitate again,

"I hate to point this out but...your clothing?"

He felt the blood drain from his face before he nodded resolutely,

"Right. Right. I should have thought of that." He chastised himself and felt Tony squeeze his arm,

"It's alright, we don't have to..."

"Yeah we do." He countered, glancing back at Brad, "Think you can scrounge me up some scrubs?"

"Sure thing. I'll fetch some and see if there's a CT scanner free for after you've changed." The other man agreed quickly. Moving as if to walk out the door,

"And..." Brad stopped and turned back to him, and he felt his face rise with colour as he looked away again, "Think I could get a shower?"

His arms crossed over his chest without his permission as he made the request, so he was almost hugging himself. He'd been avoiding thinking about it for the most part, but ever since Brad had mentioned the DNA and the bite marks it had been nagging at him that... that they were still _**on him**_. Branded and stained all over his skin and he wanted them _**off.**_

"I'm sure we can do something." Brad was quick to reassure him, tone soft, and face understanding when he worked up the nerve to glance at him, "I can work on getting you checked in if you want? You should probably have someone keep an eye on you even if the scan shows nothing, just to be sure. I can probably swing a private room with shower..."

"I..." he hesitated, he wasn't too sure about spending a night surrounded by strangers right now.

"I can do it."

Tony's voice came hurriedly from behind him, and he saw Brad raise his eyebrows slightly, presumably looking at Tony. He watched as the doctor was silent for a moment before he nodded to himself and his lips quirked slightly... almost as if some question had been answered. What was going on? His brain was too tired for this kind of mystery right now, so he didn't bother even trying... if something important was going on with Tony he was sure he would realise eventually.

"He can come home with me." Tony continued. "I have plenty of space and can check on him, wake him up... anything that needs doing."

"Sound good to you Tim?" Brad turned to him, and he realised he'd relaxed back into Tony as he was making the suggestion.

"Uh...sure...if you don't mind?..." Tony quickly cut him off, squeezing his arm again,

"If your head wasn't already mildly concussed you would be receiving one hell of a head slap right now... what did I say about partners Tim?"

He grinned slightly,

"Got it... thanks Tony."

The arm around his waist squeezed briefly in a sort of hug.

"No problem."

He started using Tony as a pillow again, while Brad nodded and slipped out the door with a quick,

"I'll see what I can do about that shower and some scrubs."

"Thanks." He called after him, before settling back into Tony and letting his eyes slip closed. He was going to be fine. He would move past this...after all, as the slight tightening of the arm still placed around his waist reminded him, he had his team and very special agent Tony DiNozzo to watch his six while he did.


End file.
